Forums Expecting & New Parents (Biracial Baby)12 weeks pregnant and already getting comments about our baby looking “confused” 🙄

12 weeks pregnant and already getting comments about our baby looking “confused” 🙄

DeAndre W.

16 posts

DeAndre W.

Hey y’all, I’m 12 weeks along and this has already been a ride. I’m Black and my boyfriend is Korean, and we live in Atlanta. We met on Hinge last year after both of us swore we were deleting dating apps forever lol. We’re actually really excited, but the comments from family have started earlier than I expected. My aunt literally asked if the baby will “know what it is” and my boyfriend’s mom, who usually means well, keeps bringing up whether we’re going to choose an English name or a Korean name like it’s some kind of test. I know people are just curious sometimes, but it’s been getting under my skin. I want our baby to feel proud of both sides, not like they have to fit into one box. We’ve been talking names and trying to find something that works in both languages, but it’s harder than I thought. I’m nervous about the whole newborn stage too, especially with the questions I know are coming from strangers. Any other biracial parents deal with this early on? How did you handle the dumb comments without losing your mind?

Mar 14

139

3 replies

David Okafor

#1 · Mar 14

Girl yes, the comments start FAST. I’m in Houston and my daughter is half Puerto Rican, half Nigerian, and people were acting like her existence was a debate topic before she was even born. What helped me was having a simple response ready, like “She’s both, and we’re proud of that.” No extra explaining, just repeat it and move on. Also on the name thing — we ended up giving our baby a name that works in both languages, and a middle name from each side’s family. It felt like the best compromise without making it a whole project.

Emily Chen

#2 · Mar 14

Congrats first off! I’m a single dad in Philly raising my biracial son, and one thing I’ll say is people always wanna make your kid into a symbol instead of just letting them be a kid. It gets old. You’re not overreacting at all. About names, we picked a name from my side and used a name from her side as the middle name. My son’s now 3 and honestly he loves hearing the stories behind both names. That’s what made it feel special to us.

Mike Hernandez

#3 · Mar 15

My husband is Japanese and I’m white, and his aunt was SUPER focused on the name when I was pregnant. Honestly, I started saying, “We’re still deciding, but we want something meaningful for both families,” and that shut down the weird interrogation pretty quick. For the baby comments, I learned to laugh a little and then redirect. Like if somebody says something ignorant, I’ll just say “Yep, mixed babies are still babies” and change the subject. It’s annoying but you don’t have to educate everybody while you’re growing a human.