Forums Military & Interracial FamiliesAnybody else trying to make a PCS work with an interracial family?

Anybody else trying to make a PCS work with an interracial family?

10 posts

My husband just got orders and we’re moving from San Diego to Norfolk in about 6 weeks. I’m Black and he’s white, and we’ve got a 4-year-old who is already attached to our current little bubble. I’m trying to stay positive because I know PCS moves are just part of military life, but I’m stressed about starting over again and finding a place where we don’t feel like the only mixed family on the block. The last base we were at was pretty good, but there were still weird moments at the school pickup line and even at the commissary. Nothing major, just enough to make you notice. I’m mostly wondering how other couples handle the move itself, the loneliness, and finding community fast. Are there any apps, groups, or just random little things that helped you settle in quicker? I’m already on a few spouse Facebook groups, but they’re hit or miss.

Mar 16

2 replies

connor odeaVIPADMIN

#1 · Mar 16

We did San Antonio to Okinawa and then Okinawa to Fayetteville, so I feel this deep. The move itself was chaos, but the biggest thing that helped us was getting plugged in before we even landed. I joined the spouse page for the new base, found a couple other moms through Peanut, and honestly just started messaging people like “hey, we’re new, want to grab coffee?” It felt awkward at first, but one of those random meetups turned into our real support system. Also, don’t underestimate the small stuff. Finding a hair salon, a barber for my son, and a decent grocery store made the new place feel normal way faster. And if you get a weird vibe from a neighborhood or school, trust it. We learned pretty quick that not every “nice” area is actually welcoming.

Keisha L.

#2 · Mar 17

We’re a mixed couple too, Navy family, and I’ve learned the hard way that every base is different. In Norfolk, we had a pretty good experience in our apartment complex, but in Virginia Beach we ran into some very open stares and dumb comments at the playground. That stuff can wear you down when you’re already tired from unpacking boxes and dealing with DEERS, school forms, all of it. What helped me was finding one or two people who just got it, even if they weren’t interracial couples themselves. My best friend on base was a Filipino wife with a Black husband, and we could talk honestly without trying to sugarcoat stuff. I’d say give yourself grace for the first few months. You don’t need to have the perfect community right away.