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dating app fatigue is real... plus how do you bring up family stuff?

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I’m 29 and in Atlanta, and I swear dating apps have turned me into a half-dead zombie. I’ve been on Bumble, Hinge, and even tried Tinder again for like two weeks, and most of the conversations go nowhere. The weird part is when I do match with someone outside my race, I get nervous about saying the wrong thing or accidentally making it weird too early. I want something real, not just a “what are your thoughts on soul food” conversation every time. I met this guy on Hinge who’s Puerto Rican and Black, and we’ve been texting for a bit. We’re supposed to meet up this weekend at a bar in Midtown, and I’m excited, but I also know my family is gonna have questions if this turns into anything. My mom already asked me once if I “prefer to keep things simple,” which was her subtle way of asking why I keep dating outside our culture. How do y’all handle the family part without feeling like you’re defending your whole life?

Mar 14

138

2 replies

Jordan B.BASIC

#1 · Mar 14

The app fatigue is so real. I met my boyfriend on Bumble and the first few dates were honestly just us talking about music, food, and our jobs, not trying to force some deep racial conversation right away. That helped a lot. As for family, I eased into it by not making a huge announcement, just mentioning him naturally when it came up. My mom had opinions at first, but once she saw he was respectful and consistent, she chilled out a lot.

Marcus D.BASIC

#2 · Mar 14

My advice is to stop trying to manage everyone’s feelings before anything even happens. I’m in Philly and used to do that same thing where I’d pre-stress about my parents, my friends, my aunties, all of it. It made dating feel like a project. If you like the guy, go on the date and see how it feels. Family questions can be handled later, and honestly sometimes you just have to be boring about it and say, “I’m seeing someone I like.”