Forums Interracial Dating & AdviceFeeling weird about introducing my girlfriend to my family, not sure if I’m overthinking it

Feeling weird about introducing my girlfriend to my family, not sure if I’m overthinking it

Aisha Johnson

PREMIUM

11 posts

Aisha JohnsonPREMIUM

So I’ve been dating this girl for about 5 months now. I’m a Black guy from Atlanta and she’s Korean American, grew up in Orange County. We met on Hinge and honestly it’s been really easy between us, which is kinda why I’m surprised I’m suddenly stressing so hard about family stuff. I think the big thing is my mom is super warm but also says whatever’s on her mind, and my dad is the quiet type who notices everything. We were talking about Thanksgiving and she asked if she could come with me this year, and I could tell she was trying not to make it a big deal. My family is nice, but they can be a little awkward with new people, and I keep thinking about dumb comments like “oh wow, you date outside your race?” which I’ve gotten before from relatives. She’s never mentioned being worried, but I know she’s had her own weird experiences. How do y’all usually handle that first family meetup without making it feel like a whole production?

Mar 14

151

2 replies

David Okafor

#1 · Mar 14

Honestly, I think you’re probably overthinking it a bit, but in a normal way if that makes sense. The fact that she wants to come means she’s serious and comfortable enough with you, so that’s already a good sign. I’m Latina and my husband is white, and the first time I met his family in Charlotte I was nervous too, mostly because I didn’t know if I’d be treated like some novelty. What helped was just having my husband give me the honest rundown on who might say something nosy and who’d be chill. Maybe do the same with her. Keep it simple, tell your mom ahead of time to not make a big announcement or weird comments, and if somebody does say something off, handle it fast and move on. People take cues from you. If you act like it’s normal, it usually becomes normal pretty quick.

Test User

#2 · Mar 14

I’d also say don’t make the first meet about interracial stuff at all unless it comes up naturally. Sometimes when people are nervous they accidentally over-explain and then it feels heavier than it needs to be. I dated a white guy in Philly for a while and his aunt kept asking me stuff like “what do your parents think?” which was annoying, but the people who just asked about my job, my hobbies, and what I liked to eat made me feel way more comfortable. If your girlfriend is game, maybe do a smaller meet first, like brunch or dinner before the actual holiday chaos. Thanksgiving can be a lot even without the family dynamics. Getting one easier interaction out of the way might make the real thing less stressful for both of you.