Hey from Atlanta — kind of nervous but excited to be here
Hey y’all, I’m Maya, 31, from Atlanta. I’ve been lurking for a few days and finally decided to post because I’m trying to be more intentional about dating instead of just swiping and hoping for the best. I’m Black, grew up mostly around Black folks, and honestly I never really dated outside my race before last year. Things changed after I moved neighborhoods and started meeting people I probably would’ve never crossed paths with before.
I’m here because I met a guy on Hinge a few months ago who’s white and from Decatur, and it’s been a really good experience so far, but I’m also learning that there are some awkward moments I didn’t totally expect. Like, family comments, weird assumptions from friends, and me overthinking every little thing because I want to be respectful and also just be myself. It’s a lot sometimes.
So I guess I’m introducing myself and also asking: how did y’all handle that early stage when you’re interested in someone but still figuring out what it means to date outside your usual circle? I’d love to hear real stories, because the advice I get in my friend group is either super supportive or straight-up nosy lol.
Mar 22
173
3 repliesL
Lisa NakamuraPREMIUMWelcome, Maya! I’m in Charlotte and had almost the same vibe when I started dating outside my race. The family stuff can be the weirdest part honestly, not even the dating itself. What helped me was just keeping my relationship simple at first — no big speeches, no trying to explain everything to everybody. If the person is good to you, that’s the main thing.
Also, Hinge can be a blessing and a headache at the same time. You’ll run into people who are genuinely open-minded and then others who say the right things but act awkward in real life. Trust your gut.
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Andre M.PREMIUMHey Maya, I’m a Black woman too, been with my husband 9 years and he’s white. We live in Dallas now but we met in college. I remember overthinking EVERYTHING in the beginning, especially holidays and meeting family. It got easier once I stopped trying to perform and just let people see us as a regular couple.
My advice would be to watch how he handles awkward moments. A lot of people can be cool in private but weird when they’re around friends or family. If he’s steady and not defensive, that’s a really good sign.
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DeAndre W.Hi Maya, welcome! I’m not in Atlanta but I’m in Philly and dating outside my race for the first time too. I’ve found that being honest early saves a lot of stress. Like, if something feels off, ask about it instead of sitting there spiraling. I used to do that and make the whole thing way bigger in my head.
Also, you’re def not alone with the family comments. My aunt said some ignorant stuff around Thanksgiving and I had to laugh to keep from going off. Sometimes people just need time to catch up.
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