Holiday drama with our open relationship and my in-laws in Chicago

My wife and I have been poly for about 5 years, and most of the time it’s fine, but holidays make everything messy. We were at her parents’ place in Chicago for Easter, and her aunt kept asking why we never bring “just one normal friend” around anymore. That was already annoying, but then her mom made some comment about how “people get confused when marriages don’t have rules.” I wanted to disappear into the mashed potatoes. The thing is, we’re very intentional about our setup. We check in all the time, use calendars, communicate when feelings get weird, all of it. We’re not out here acting sloppy. But people still hear “poly” and immediately think chaos. I’m Black, my wife is Filipina, and sometimes I feel like our families already look at us like we’re unusual before even getting to the relationship part. Has anyone else dealt with family acting like your relationship is a phase or some moral failure? I’m wondering if we should stop bringing up details altogether and just say we’re busy, or if being more direct would actually help. I don’t need them to love it, I just want them to stop making every dinner feel like a debate panel.