ForumsInterracial Couple FinancesHow are y’all splitting money when one of you grew up way more frugal?
How are y’all splitting money when one of you grew up way more frugal?
My boyfriend is from Atlanta and I’m from Toronto, and money stuff has honestly been the weirdest part of getting serious. He grew up in a family where everybody pooled money and helped each other out constantly, while my parents were super strict about saving, credit scores, and never ever carrying a balance. So now we’re at this point where he thinks I overthink every purchase, and I think he’s a little too chill about impulse spending.
We just moved in together in Brooklyn and started using Splitwise for shared stuff like groceries, the Wi-Fi bill, and the Costco run, which helps a little. But I still get anxious when he wants to just “figure it out later” with money, because later can turn into never. Curious how other couples handle budgeting when you come from totally different money cultures. Do you do 50/50, income-based, or a joint account for bills and keep the rest separate?
5d ago
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2 repliesB
Brittany S.BASICWe do income-based and it’s been the only thing that didn’t make one of us resentful. I’m Jamaican-American, my wife is Korean, and we had a lot of back and forth about what felt fair. On paper 50/50 sounds clean, but in real life it was making things weird because I make about 30% more. We put our shared bills in a joint account and each month we transfer a set amount based on our salaries, then keep personal spending separate.
We use YNAB now and it kinda saved us from a lot of dumb arguments. Once we agreed on a system, the conversations got way less emotional.
K
Keisha L.Honestly, the biggest thing for us was naming the difference instead of treating it like someone was wrong. I’m Black American and my husband is Dutch, and he was raised to track everything down to the cent while my family was more like “if you got it, you got it.” We had to sit down in our apartment in Philly and literally talk about what money meant to each of us — security, freedom, helping family, all that.
We keep separate accounts but put a fixed amount into a shared one every paycheck for rent, groceries, and savings goals. We also do a monthly money date at Target of all places because it feels less intense than sitting at the kitchen table. Sounds corny, but it works.
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