Forums Mental Health & Relationship WellnessLooking for a therapist who gets interracial relationship stuff in Atlanta

Looking for a therapist who gets interracial relationship stuff in Atlanta

10 posts

My girlfriend and I have been together almost 2 years, and I love her, but I’ve been struggling with this weird mix of stress and guilt. I’m Black and she’s Korean American, and I feel like I’m always trying to be “on” when we’re around her family or even just out in public. I grew up in Savannah, moved to Atlanta, and I still catch myself bracing for comments or looks, even when nobody has said anything. It’s like my body expects something to go wrong before it does. The hardest part is I don’t want to put all of that on her, because she’s actually really supportive and patient. But I also know I’m not doing great mentally if I keep swallowing it. I tried the therapy route through my insurance, and the first person I got matched with honestly didn’t seem to understand why race and relationship stuff would connect. Has anyone found a therapist in Atlanta or online who actually gets this? Or are there certain keywords I should be searching for on TherapyDen or Psychology Today?

Mar 15

119

2 replies

Aisha JohnsonPREMIUM

#1 · Mar 15

I’m in Atlanta too and had to shop around a bit before I found someone decent. The big thing for me was not just looking for “couples therapist,” but searching for “racial identity,” “cross-cultural relationships,” and “anxiety.” A lot of therapists say they’re inclusive, but that can mean very different things. I ended up with someone in Decatur who did telehealth and had experience with mixed-race couples, and she didn’t act confused when I brought up the constant “being watched” feeling. Also, if your girlfriend is supportive, it might help to tell her the exact kind of support you need. Not fixing, just something like, “If I seem tense after we’re around your family, I may need a little decompression and reassurance.” Sometimes people want to help but don’t know what’s actually useful.

Lisa NakamuraPREMIUM

#2 · Mar 16

I totally get the body-bracing thing. I dated someone outside my race for a while and even though their family was nice, I was still exhausted after seeing them. It’s not always about the other person being shady — sometimes it’s the history you’re carrying from everywhere else. That stuff adds up. One thing I’d suggest is checking if any local clinics or community mental health centers in Atlanta have therapists of color or people who mention cultural humility. I know that phrase gets thrown around a lot, but in my experience it matters. I found mine through a Black therapists directory, then asked in the consult call how they approach racial stress in relationships. The answer told me pretty fast if they were for real or not.