Forums Dealing with Online Hate & TrollsTrolls keep DMing my girlfriend after we went public and I’m not sure how to handle it

Trolls keep DMing my girlfriend after we went public and I’m not sure how to handle it

Keisha L.

18 posts

Keisha L.

So me and my girlfriend finally posted each other on TikTok and Instagram after dating quietly for a while. We’re interracial, and most of the reaction was sweet, which was nice, but there’s also this steady stream of gross DMs and comments. Some dude from Arizona sent her a message calling her “embarrassing” for dating me, and another person kept saying she was “ruining her bloodline,” which is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever read. She’s trying to laugh it off, but I can tell it’s getting under her skin. I’m way more ready to go off on these people than she is, but I also don’t want to make it worse. Do you all respond, block right away, or just collect screenshots and report? We’re in Philly, and it feels like every time we post something simple, somebody’s got something nasty to say.

2d ago

108

2 replies

James T.

#1 · 2d ago

Block and report, every time. Seriously. My husband and I had a similar thing happen after a wedding reel on Instagram, and the worst part was reading the messages over and over trying to figure out what we’d done wrong. Truth is, you didn’t do anything wrong, these people are just looking for a reaction. We started using message requests filters and setting our accounts so only followers can DM us. It cut down the garbage a ton. Also, it helped when my friends and cousins started reporting the racist comments too, because a bunch of reports seems to get stuff removed faster.

Ben O'ConnorPREMIUM

#2 · 1d ago

I get the urge to clap back, trust me. My girlfriend and I are in Oakland and I had to physically put my phone down a few times because I wanted to argue with some random dude on X who decided he had thoughts about our relationship. But every time I’ve responded, it just turns into a bigger circus. What we do now is save screenshots, mute the account, report it, and then text each other something normal like dinner plans or a dumb meme so we don’t sit in the negativity. It sounds small, but it helps. Also, lean on the people around you who are supportive. A couple good comments from real friends can do a lot to balance out the trash.